Frustrating

I never thought I'd see the day where I'd say this. I want out of my current situation. It's been said many times that baseball is baseball, you signed the deal now go out and play. I've said that many times myself. But once your in the position, it's extremely frustrating. We were starting to look really good too. The locker room was getting really tight, even to the point that Srnka was accepted as one of the guys for awhile. That feel good locker room is long gone now however.

Our GM is gone. I'm up in the air about how I feel about that. While there were things he did that I really liked, there were so many things that I wanted to strangle him for. He ultimately made the call for me to play SS, which, to be honest isn't sitting very well for me anymore. I thought it was a temporary thing for me, but I'm splitting time between CF and SS and it's really hard to get into a rythym. I guess it hasn't effected me too much however as I'm still one of the top batters in the league. It's just aggravating. I know it's not a good thing to do, and probably not something I should post in my blog, but the other night on the plane I made a list of which teams I'd most like to play on. Which is a little awkward, especially since I'm under contract for another full season. But anyway, here it is:

10) Elmira- They've improved, but those 7 straight titles still loom over them. I want to go somewhere that I'm going to help build something. I'm glad I never bothered with them when I came into the league.

9) Providence- A sinking ship that was never really afloat in my books.

8) Halifax- They've done some restructuring, but that team is still a financial mess waiting to happen. I do think I'd be able to step in and really help them out however.

7) Buffalo- No, just, no.

6) Allentown- That color purple? Could you really see me in purple? Didn't think so. Never going to happen.

5) New York- I love the city of New York, but I'm not sold on their GM, their current team, or their uniforms. The city however, would be a good fit for me.

4) Toronto- They kind of have their own thing going there. I like the team and GM, but just can't see myself playing there.

3) Hartford- They're not a dynasty yet so I'd be happy helping their cause. Unfortunately Chalmers is there and I don't think they are in any hurry to replace him.

2) Bridgeport- They like defense, I'm as good as they come. They need hitting, I'm batting over .300. Rumor has it that Gofenberg is leaving after the season. To me it seems like a perfect fit. I like their attitude, I like their unis, I like that they are building their history, I like the farm system they have set up. I like 'em a lot.

1) Boston- Ironic huh? Yeah, I love Boston and the fans. I like the following I have here. It's just that things need to change in order for me to be able to stay. Hopefully the new GM breathes new life into this organization. But right now things just need to change.

No Shame

I'm sorry, I'm going to say it. I'm going to throw a teamate under the bus. It's against the "code", but it needs to be done. With that said, here goes:

James Srnka may be the biggest cock sucker in the league. I just can't help but to imply it. How else can a guy that's hitting .215 be an all-star? Sure he's got 18 HRs, but still, .215? That's rediculous. ADDITIONALLY, he's got four errors in right field!!

Your telling me this hack deserves to be an all-star more than a guy with these stats? .309 BA, 31 SB, team leader in almost every category, and only one error in 552 innings? Throw the host team a bone man. James Srnka does not deserve to be an all-star. Ask him yourself, and if he says he does, kick him hard in the shin. Anyone can hit 18 HRs if they step up to the plate swinging for the fences every time up. Srnka does that and it pisses me and the rest of the guys right the hell off. I'm pleading with the people in the league office. Do the right thing, pull the plug on sending Srnka to Bridgeport for the All-Star game and give the home fans some love. Put the only bright spot that sorry excuse for a team has in centerfield so those poor fans have something to cheer about. Shaun Gofenberg should be an all-star just for playing on that shitty ass team.

Another option would be to send yours truely. .311 BA, no errors in 400+ innings in center, only 1 error out of position in 175 innings at short, not to mention 39 runs scored. It's only just and fair. Anybody but Srnka. I plead with you all. And no, I'm not scared of Srnka, because I said it to his face. He kind of agrees. Except he keeps saying "18 home runs man. Chicks dig the long ball." Whatever dude, that's why you haven't gotten laid in the year that I've been here. What a douchebag.

The Talking Heads

Everyone sit down before you read this next line, we don't want anyone to collapse. The Boston Bandits have won 7 of their last 9 games. I know, I know. It's utterly stunning. Last week I wrote about the Alex Williams and we tore it up there after. But this week, I'm going to tempt superstition and write about our beloved Bandits. If we end up losing a bunch of games, you can bet that the rest of the season I'll be writing about the Shannon Young/Pierre LaVillenuve affair that may or may not be happening, Neil O'Rourke's vengeful pitching this season, silly little Japanese pitchers taking steroids and how reheated pizza and milk may be the greatest breakfast ever. My faithful readers are now hoping for an 0-15 run before the Allstar break so they can read about those riveting topics.

Do you remember that old Talking Heads song? The one where it says you may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife? And you may ask yourself how did you get here? Well, that's kind of the collective questioning in Boston right now. Sure it's been against Elmira, New York and Buffalo, but we are still Boston. Plus all three teams have had guys get caught on 'roids, so whose to say that everybody on all those teams aren't juicing up? Pretty damn impressive if you ask me. You know what is a nice sweetener for this curren trend? I'm on a 7-game hitting streak and my BA is over .300. You remember last year at this time when I was stuck down at AAA and wasn't getting any PT, then I get called up to the Bigs and am inserted directly into the starting line-up? I remember that and all the skeptisizm that surrounded that move. Looks like it's worked out pretty well for the team.

Winning is kind of a sweet nector. I could already feel myself getting blood thirsty to be a winner, but now, after getting a taste of success, I don't know if I can go back. Hopefully this isn't just a short trend. This is the direction that we all saw this team headed last year when we had the top farm system. We're finally headed down that road, and if we fall back again, I just may snap. But fear not Boston fans. Your big mouthed vocal leader isn't looking to bail out. Halifax's blue is too light to be cool, Hartford teal is just wrong. And Allentown purple? Don't even get me started on Allentown purple. That's just wrong.

As long as this winning run isn' just a mirage, you may be seeing me in a Boston jersey for a long time. Just throwing that out there.

Not THAT good

Another "meh" week and some wondered if I'd have anything to write this week. Well, as part of my obligations to NEBL.com to be the Boston Blogger, I will tough it out and get some good quality reading material to you the fans. However, I regret to inform you all that this weeks edition has very little to do with Boston, and a lot to do with one certain player who you may have heard of.

This blog was inspired by Elmira's patheticness. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the Iriquois only 1 1/2 seasons removed from winning 7 consecutive Patriot Cups? Now the mighty have fallen so far as to throw a city wide celebration for beating Alex Williams in a mid-May game? Really? The guy isn't that unbeatable. He lost two games last year during the regular season and then had a meltdown in the playoffs last year and got totally outclassed by Shannon Young (that's a blog for a whole different time). This is the same Alex Williams that should have by all means lost on opening day to laughing stock expansion team Bridgeport. So what gives? Why all the hesteria?

In Boston we're guilty of the Williamsphobia too. Basically, Alex Williams is like Jesus. If only instead of being great at life, Jesus were great at baseball and a very shitty person. And yes, I stand firmly behind the fact that AW is a shitty person. (I know this might cause a big whelt from a 175+ mph fastball next time we face them, but it needs to be said.) He's signed for a rediculously overpriced contract. For a guy who only factors into 20% of the total games for the team, you'd think that $57 million after all is said and done is a little steep. And Halifax will feel it too in a couple years when they are so far in dept that they take a turn much worse than Elmira's. And even after taking all of Halifax's money, what does AW do to show his respect to the team? He starts rumors that he may be opting out of his contract at the end of the year. Not restructuring, but opting out. He's already burnt his bridge with Elmira fans, and now he's ready to turn his back on Halifax as well. Well, that's admirable.

Now there is the steroids issue. Well, not so much steroids, but HGH. (Bridgeport fans get huge props from me for being the first crowd to chant "HGH" for entire innings when Williams was on the mound agaisnt them. "Classy" is the best way to describe that bunch.) I'm not going to get myself into trouble and say that beyond a shadow of a doubt he was on them, but look at his numbers man. How can he throw that hard for that long each game? I know that has nothing to do with the break in his pitches, and I've already addressed that to an umpire one time. (I turned to the home plate ump one time and told him that AW needs to cut his fingernails so he can't tamper with the ball anymore.) AW is a cheater, a liar, probably a virgin and completely unworthy of a city wide parade.

Yes he won a few championships with Elmira, but if you think he's going to be able to put Halifax over the top against Hartford, well, expect a recurrance of last year. That team had no money to add players where they needed help, mostly because of AW. Savior? No. I'm a firm believer that satan crapped him out and placed him on earth because even he couldn't stand him. And on that note, I'm going to end this now. I'm guessing a stint on the DL could be upcoming the next time we face his roid loaded arm.

A new degree of suckiness

So, with the season quickly spiraling out of hand, the running joke in the clubhouse is, "hey, at least we're not as bad as Bridgeport." Guess what, we just got swept by Bridgeport. I don't even think that their team is batting over .200. I can't name a single thing that club does well. But they still swept us. Unfreaking believeable. You don't completely hate life until your swept by an expansion team, or Elmira last year, but that's a whole different story. And since I mentioned Elmira, I think it's worth mentioning that we are killing them by taking the first three of a four game set, with yours truely setting the pace for the series with a 3-5, 4 RBI performance.

So moving on, I noticed something when looking at the standings. Bridgeport is no longer completely crappy. They are just really crappy. No, the completely crappy team right now is New York. I really think we need a good dose of New York right now. I don't mean to be negative about this team, because I love playing with every one of the guys on the roster. It's just that we have made absolutely no progress as a team since last year. In fact, I think we're a little worse off. And it's not like we aren't giving it our all. But at the end of the day, or the beginning really, I just tend to open up the paper and wait for the little transactions section to tell me the calvary is being brought in to save us.

Oh well, I guess the warm days of summer are almost here, and with that comes the many many skank tanks worn by the beautiful Boston girls. So we have that to look forward to at least.

Well, Riley, LaVillenuve and I ordered a pizza and it just arrived. What a perfect pregame meal, don't you think?

Airing it out...

So, remember last year when I was placed at SS in the middle of a game and everyone had a collective heart attack until I made a diving play on a sure hit up the middle? Well, seems like that got management's brains turning and now guess who is a platoon player. Me, twice. I get to platoon at Short and Centerfield. While this means I still get to play everyday it does hinder my shot at the coveted Ken Griffey award. The funny thing is that there was no warning either. I got to the clubhouse last week and looked at the posted lineup, seeing we were facing a lefty I am batting second that day. No big thing. I don't look twice at the lineup and go about my normal routine of making fun of LaVillenuve about his deer in headlights look (he had just gotten called up) and listening to Riley to beg me to hook him up with my other sister, who doesn't exist.

Funny story with Riley. His brother Neil, yes, the one and only Neil O'Rourke, is dating my older sister. Yeah, sweet. So Riley, with some sort of complex feels he needs to date a Mack girl. Apparently being the best pitcher on a shitty team isn't enough. And we have this discussion at least twice week. This is what happens when your team is so bad. You run out of fun things to talk about and instead agree with a 22-year-old guy that you'll be sure to tell your parents to make another little girl so he can date her. I'm telling you, this isn't good for any of our sanity.

Back to the story at hand though, so it's game time and I'm leaving the dugout and headed off into the beautiful green grass of centerfield. Juan Pierre taps me on the shoulder and shakes his head no. Which pisses me off because I know I saw my name on the lineup card. So just as I'm about to throw down, he tells me I'm not in Center, but rather at Short. A little unprepared yes, but not rattled enough to not be able to make plays at the position.

I will petition this however. To the higher ups of the league, please note my request. Can we please have a utility Griffey Award? I'm doing everything. I'm playing my ass off, sacrificing my position and still playing top notch ball, all for a very bad team. Please, please note this and throw me a bone.

P.S.- I still love Boston fans. Well, the few that still come out and see us I guess.